Jacob Desch

Creative-Type Person

Rider of 1636 Miles to Nowhere

Runner of 1827 Miles in Circles

Watcher of Futurama

Aspiring World Record Holder

Father of 2, Husband of 1

Reader of The UltraMind Solution

What's All This Then?

Look. I'm tired. I've been professionally making things for screens for 18 years. Unprofessionally—even longer. Regardless, those 18 years have been...exhausting.

So when I set out to actually build the 3rd version of my "personal" website (after countless others that never made it past a single artboard in Adobe Illustrator), I wanted to do it my way. No unnecessary JavaScript framework that I'll pour hours into learning, only to be obsolete in 5 years. No bloated, dumbed-down content management system. No bullshit marketing jargon that no one but me understands. None of this bullshit. And for the love of God, no content that fades in and animates slightly upward as you scroll.

Just a few stats about me, a soothing timelapse video I took of a particularly stormy afternoon here in beautiful Portland, Oregon and that's it. Contact info? *shrug*. Like I said...tired.

Behind the stats for those interested:

In the immortal words of my grandmother when she was done talking on the phone and wanted to hang up,

I can't not put alt text in anymore, can I?

"That's all I know."